Monday, August 31, 2009

Confuseddd !!!!

Y is it always dis confusion??
Y is it always so hard 2 jus spit it out??
U kno everythins gonna b fine.... Still y dis hesitation??? Dis awkwardness....???
M glad m not d only 1 on dis path neway....
Despite all...... Der's a warmth in dis.... A spl kinda happiness!!!
Wish i cud scream n say wat i want to in front of d whole world.......
Still d same awkwardness creeps into ma head...n webs all around ma brain
May b dats xactly wots happening on d other end!!!
Hmmmm...... The 'Other end'!!!!
Speekin abt dat..... dese days dat 'awkward' feeling z slightly vanishing....
Its becomin a part of a daily routine
Hv got habituated 2 dis way of living ma lyf.....
Or is d rite word 'Addicted'??
I donno...... Still confused... Damn confused!!!!!
Darnnnnnn!!! M such a dumbo....... :(

Sunday, August 30, 2009

'Love Aaj Kal'

Was watchin d movie ' Love Aaj Kal '
Not as gud as 'Jab we Met', bt was ok-ok...
Was tryin 2 relate things all thru d movie....
Wen did i evn start relating things wid ma lyf???
Wel it was kinda fun :)
So much Confusion.... Frustration.........
Hopin 4 a Happy Ending!!!
Crappppp....... Idiottttttt!!!! :P

Hey 4got tell ya...
2day 4 d 1st time in ma lyf, i tasted Budweiser Feny
Feny wid sprite!!!
I neva had nethin frm d alcohol family....
Other dan home made wine n wen i was a kid, toddy too.... Dat was jus 4 once k
Bt i like both....
Dis Feny was also smwot like d wine....
Bt i was finding a bit difficult finishin one glass... Bt it was k
Actually i wanted 2 taste Vodka....
N i had had this thinkin it was Vodka only
Nw dat m havin it 4 d 1st time, hw'd i distinguish eachother!!
So neways... in short... I had a glass of Feny!!! Dats it!!!

Ohh God!!! Jus nw a thunder struck....
Soooo loudd....
I don really rememb d last time i heard a thunder in hyd
Was it last yr?? Or may b in d beginning of dis yr???
Wot rubbish m i talkin?? N 2 whom??
Dis Dumb screen dat jus stares bak @ me??
Neway no1 z gonna read all dese shit-stuff
So.. kya farak padta hai???
Yet noder feather 2 ma 'Daily Craps'!!!
Lolzzz...... Lolzzzzz..... :D


The Trashing-Demon Celebration!!!!

Wish i cud slip in to a deep serene slumber...
Bt hw wud I wen nitemares r waiting...
Rite @ ma lashes.... jus 2 c 'em kiss!!!!
( 30th August 2009 )

Uff!!! M gonna kill dat bastard!!!!!!!
Bloody jerk....
He thot he cud jus keep on doin wateva he likes n i wnt do nethin abt it??
Well he was rite i guess..
Wot did i do after all???
Suffered evry damn thing like n idiot???
Like a dumb ass wid no responding powers??
I used 2 think myself so strong.....
Bold enof to liv a life d way i wanted 2....
Neva knew dat deep inside... I was always so fragile...
So weak as d word 'weak'!!!

Sorry i get a bit hyper wen i get emotional.... :P
Pardon ma language....
Bt believe me.... I don really regret it !!!

Finally its over... Nw he cnt do me nethin
M d happiest person in dis world 2 c 'em leave dis place
Finallyyyyyyyyyy........... Yuhoooooooo
2day was d Onam celebration.... Well 4 d rest it was so....
4 me it was d real celebration....n it has nothin 2 do wid onam k....
I was celebrating d moment of trashing away a demon frm ma lyf!!!
A Fuckin Demon!!!!

Shittt!!! Ab iske baad aur kya bahane banaoo??? :(
Sorry ppl... i hvnt told u guys abt dis....
Guess its not d time yet
Chalo.... Baad mei bata deti hoo....
Agar mood hai to.... :P

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

A drop of tear to a broad shinning smile!!! :)

" Often v get irritated of some of our 'chatter box' frds...
Bt u'll neva realize hw much a person 2 whom v can talk 2..... hu'd listen wot u hv 2 say....really means, until u r left all alone!!! "

2day mng itself v had Draping... Malini D's session!!!
She always makes ma knee caps both wrestle
Her jus 1 stare z enof 2 make d whole class shiver
Dats Malini !!!
Bt i lyk her... Al though she scares me a gr8 deal, i shud admit dat she's a really gud n able teacher
N do hv gr8 respect 4 her

2day u kno wot happened??
V wer supposed 2 bring brown sheet 2 d class n i 4got (nothin new abt dat)
Den gathering all ma strenghth i went 2 her n said d prob n asked d permission 2 go n get it frm ma room
She was lyk "I cnt help it !!" Not really angry, bt yeah... maintaing her usual serious tone
Well she din really want 2 scold me 4 a such a silly thing
Bt cudnt giv an excuse jus 2 me.... Der wer quite a few ppl hu hadnt brought it
No matter hw many times she has scolded me, i kno she do hv a sorta compassion 4 me
May b seein ma pathetic situation :P
After a while she only asked d rest of d class n got me a piece of sheet wich sm1 had as xtra
Still ma mood got off :(

I kno m being silly..... May b 'Over sensitive' wud suit here betta.
I cudnt stop thinkin abt it during d class
D more i thot abt it, d more i got depressed
It wasnt abt ma'am scoldin me @ al.....
Things so happened dat...... ummmmmm..... errrr..... I felt all alone!!!
Wid not a single soul 2 care abt me n a few hu secretly rejoiced seein wot I was goin thru
It really hurts!!!
Dis z wot i had written in d beginning in d red letters all abt!!
I had 2 try so hard 2 blink bak dose tears dat wer tryin 2 escape ma eye lids
N evn mor hard 2 wear a smile n act cool while facing ma classmates
Cathy was keepin on askin 4 dis n dat
And I cud hardly manage bringing ma voice out :(
Bt b4 d 1st break itself i was bak 2 normal luckily.

>> Den Brunch
>> Bak 2 Drapin
>> Lunch Brk
>> AOT (Appreciation of Textiles), a dumb subject
>> Again a brk
>> FID (Fashion Illustration & Design), Fatima n her Bina Abling... Ufff!!!
>> Yet noder brk (had a chaat frm canteen)
>> Bak 2 FID
>> Bak 2 room...... Finally!!!

I was so eager 2 write 2day's blog
N den as usual, i came n opened orkut n FB
Lotsa frds online......
Weneva i think of not chattin, all ma frds seems 2 find a particular interest in comin online
N i easily giv in too...
N lyk always m writin dis blog late nite :P

2day after a few days' gap, ma frd Anson was online, hum i call 'Thotti' (Coz he's too lean n tall... 6" i guess)
He had lost his wallet along wid his debit card n coll ID n 5000 bucks 2 days back
So he was a bit downcast abt dat
Well i kno xactly hw dat feels... Coz i too hv been thru d same situation
It tuk abt a week 4 me 2 get over it
I was feelin so guilty 4 makin ma mom's hardwork go 4 nothin.... 2 some filthy jerk's hands, jus bcoz of ma carelessness :(
I had cried so bitterly dat day
Dat week was 1 of d WORST weeks i evr had 2 go thru due 2 som other reasons as well
N @ dat time i din hav ne1 wid hum i cud share all dese
Ans was in Kerala dat time
Apart frm ma sissy, he z ma only buddy 2 whom i share ma evry lil happinez n probs...ummm well...almost all
Smtimes i'll hv 2 censor a few part... Bt its k

So dis z d whole point.....
I kno hw it feels wen u don hv anyone 2 pour out all ur griefs n frustrations
So jus lent him some of ma time
Well i did try 2 make him feel betta.... Donno hw far i've succeded in dat,
Bt still.... @least i tried....
Hmmm.... Rite nw he's online in Mesngr....
Wot d hell z he doin der so late neways???
Watevaaa..... Nona ma bussinez!!!
I myself is a nite owl n commentin on others.... hmmm
Chalo... lets call it a day nw

Finally as concludin, lemme tell ya guys....
(In case som insane person z mad enof 2 read ma crazy posts.....)
Do try bein a lil sensitive 2 dose hu r goin thru some rough time
Try 2 b compassionate rather dan turning ur bak on 'em
Giv a shoulder 2 cry on.... a lil time 2 comfort 'em
Trust me... It'll feel lyk heaven 2 dat person
Plzzz don miss a chance 2 make som1 happy
Hu knos.... It may happen 2 u as well !!
Put urself in deir shoes n think.... U'll kno jus wot u hv 2 do :)

"Treat others d way u want urselves 2 b treated"


Monday, August 17, 2009

One fine day...... :)

Was an ok-ok kinda day
Nothin really happened wich was worthy 2 b mentioned
Jus an uneventful day.....
Still it wasnt borin....
One Fine Day...!!!

Well i was pretty excited abt ma new blog al day
Was waiting 2 get bak 2 ma room n start pouring out in here
Bt wot?? I still donno.......
U guys wud hv neva met any1 as confused as i am
All ma lyf, dats wot i was..... "Confused"!!!

Unusually it was raining by d afternoon....
Hyd isnt really a fvrt place for monsoon
I hv hardly seen it raining here
Jus a lil bit of drizzling... Dats all
May b its bcoz of dat climatic change in Vizag
I stil donno wots dat all abt
Well i had overheard som of ma classmates saying abt some minor tremors in Vizag recently
Al though i had googled it, i din c nethin as such
Well din really luk 4 it dat keenly
Jus searched once n den gave up
Neway m not @ all interested in nethin happening in Vizag or anywer

M a person hu's least interested in ne affairs other dan dose wich r related 2 me
Its not lyk i don care 4 others or nethin lyk dat
Its jus dat m too careless... Well frankly speakin, in ma own matters itself, i hardly show d maturity a 19 yr old z supposed 2 hav!!!
Ma mom always tells me 2 change dat attitude.... dat it'd always lead me 2 trouble
I totally agree 2 wot she said...
Ummm.... After all dese dumb things i hv done so far..... som of wich hv made me pay quite heavily.... I'll hv 2 agree 2 dat
I really do wanna change dis
Bt i jus cant help it :(
Hope Mr. Goddy put in som effort 2 make things betta... sighhhhhh....
Thnk God, ma sissy isnt lyk me :)

Offooo..... All dese regrets n negativityyyy
I guess time 2 change d topic
Hmmm....... Its still raining out der
I hate rain.... (Despite d fact dat i hv joined in a comm named "I love to walk in rain" in orkut).
Well i do feel lyk walkin n smtimes evn dancing in d rain
Bt very occasionally....
M actually frm the so called God's Own Country, where v get ample downpour
N evry monsoon gifts me @least a nasty cold wich wud last 4 minimum a month
All d time sneezing, kich-kich n d worst part......running nose!!! Aggrrrrrrr :x
N wen v get out.... all dose dirty puddles...mud...n moisture drenches u
M a person hu likes 2 walk (if i hv a company)
Bt in d monsoon season...... don evn think abt it
U can keep jumping over puddle left-right-left makin sure u reaches ur destination spic n span
Bt d vehicles passing by'll neva miss deir target 'aka' YoU!!! :P
Nw m a bit exaggerating ;)

Chalo aaj ke liye yeh hi kafi hai....
Hv started yawning again... Hwaaaaahhh!!!
Hope 2morro it wnt b cloudy
Well its k bein cloudy, bt i don wanna c it raining again
If its so necessary, Goddyyy.... make it a simple drizzle k
Chalo den.... i bid bye hoping 4 a sunny day!!! :)

Sunday, August 16, 2009

God seems 2 b on a vacation.... ;)

Its been a really nice day.... While lukin over all........ its been a pleasant n nice week
I donno after all wots wrong wid Mr. Goddy...
He's supposed 2 bring some kinda twist in ma lyf weneva smthin z abt 2 get rite
Bt one whole week passed off smoothly
N i find myself happy..... :)
May b he's on a holiday... :P

Sad 2morro z monday....
All ma sunday nites r gloomy jus bcoz of dis bloody monday
I don remeb a single day i hv waited 4 monday 2 come
Friday was always ma fvrt day wid 2 holidays ahead

Wot d hell m i goin on babbling??
Well d thing z, m not really used 2 dis whole blogging stuff
So... a bit confused
Bt rite nw i feel lyk keepin on writing watever comes 2 ma mind

M watchin d video "I got a feeling" by Black Eyed Peas nw
2day only ma frd Sumi gave dis song.
So jus checkin it out
2day u kno wot i did d whole day??
Was sleepin most of d time....
Went 2 ma LG's place n der also.... Zzzzzzz.....
Some sleepy ghost seems 2 be entered ma body
N m yawning nw..... Hwaaaaa.......!!!!!!
N hu's dis giving me missd calls @ dis hr??
Lemme go check
Hmmmm.... Sajithoottan.... Jus lyk i guessed
Well he's Sajith Abraham... Ma schoolmate
A gr8 buddy.....
He gives all his frds missd b4 he goes 2 bed
Dats our style of wishin gunnite :)
I miss 'em all....... dose gud old days....
Sad dat i cnt get 'em bak again.......
I used 2 hate dose days... ma skool.....
Bt nw..... m yearning 2 go bak n relive dose beautiful moments
Ma mom was rite.... Skool days wer indeed d golden days of lyf
Bt lyk evry1 else i was interested in gettin outta d shell n get 2 d coll
All dose memories.... Not really in sepia.... Bt sure is nostalgia!!!


Do u think m crazy??